BAD DUDES VS DRAGONNINJA
Original Release: Data East, 1988, Arcade
Other Releases: Assorted computers (1988-89), NES (1989), Switch (2018), PC (2022)
More famous for its introduction than anything else, Bad Dudes was sort of a mishmosh of Double Dragon and Shinobi that wasn't as good as either (yet still did pretty well for itself)
Bad Dudes vs Dragonninja (Arcade, Data East, 1988)
Where to Buy: eBay
How to Emulate: Arcade Emulation Guide
Review by: C. M0use
Most people are likely to be acquainted with the NES version of Bad Dudes, which was possibly one of the worst (and yet most hilarious) games ever inflicted upon mankind. The original arcade version, surprisingly, is a significant step up from that port; it has much smoother gameplay, better graphics and better sound.
That's not to say it isn't still a piece of crap. It is. The levels consist of tedious waves of the same ninja enemies over and over again, and the game is capped by a series of boss battles that were clearly designed to rip you off of as many quarters as possible.
For those completely unfamiliar with the game, apparently ninja-related crimes are rampant, and the White House is no exception. Some army guy questions whether you are a bad enough dude to rescue the President; in this edition he is called President Ronnie. This entails seven levels of punching and kicking your way through the Dragon Ninja clan; they also have apparently contracted the mercenary services of Karnov, and after you kill him in the first level, they seem to keep reviving him as a zombie somehow, which is really way more morbid than I expected from this game.
Anyway, each level is capped with a boss battle, and when you are victorious you get the delightful digitized scream of "I'M BAD!" (which, in the arcade version, actually sounds like a guy who might really be bad, or at least dangerously grouchy).
The game is surprisingly easy as compared to the NES version, no doubt the effect of the controls actually being halfway responsive and the game having a decent animation frame rate. The difficulty really spikes once you hit the fourth level or so, though, going into "suck their pockets dry" mode and staying that way through the end of the game.
Bad Dudes (NES, Data East, 1989)
Where to Buy: eBay
How to Emulate: coming soon!
Review by: C. M0use
Like most Japanese arcade games of the period, Bad Dudes is an amalgamation of shit from American action movies and shit that came before it in the arcade gaming world. In this case, the game is sort of a clumsy fusion of Double Dragon and Shinobi, with horrendously stiff gameplay and awful collision detection.
The game is just seven levels of punching away at ninjers on a quest to rescue the President or whatever. The whole thing seriously resembles the kind of idea a Kool Aided-up eight year old would draw up for a Nintendo game; after twenty years I still can't fathom that grown Japanese men put this together. The Dudes apparently drive a big rig truck (named Dudes) between the seven ninja fighting venues that constitute the game, but instead of using it to run over enemies or something useful, they just kinda park it, hop out, and 30 seconds later the ninjers have totally taken it over. At your disposal is a stiff punch, which sometimes changes depending on the proximity of the enemy (but never really gets more useful), and a really stiff jump that is only good for hurtling the occasional obstacle.
I think maybe the funniest thing about Bad Dudes is that it actually has halfway decent chiptunes going for it; the remix of the Karnov main theme that plays when you inexplicably fight the fat Russian at the end of the first level is a nice touch. The second level sounds like the precursor of a famous Castlevania song, and on the whole the music is fairly tolerable for the rest of the game. It's too bad that is really the only thing the game has going for it. Sound effects are virtually non-existent as it seems they used all that space up on the scratchy digitized scream of "I'M BAAD" that comes with your victory over each boss.
The ending is a classic of NES hilarity, but the game is just too much of a pain in the butt to bother getting to it, even with infinite continues. Try the arcade version instead, it's actually halfway playable and even funnier.
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