SEGA AGES 2500: HOKUTO NO KEN
Original Release: Sega, 2004, PlayStation 2
A totally unnecessary update of Hokuto no Ken/Black Belt for the Sega Master System
Sega Ages 2500: Hokuto no Ken (PS2, Sega, 2004)
Where to Buy: eBay
How to Emulate: PlayStation 2 Emulation Guide
Review by: C. M0use
Most of the Sega Ages lineup consisted of revamps of legitimate Sega classics, like Phantasy Star and Outrun, or at least "cult classics" like Last Bronx. Hokuto no Ken stands out as an attempt to gaslight people into believing everyone loved the original version of this game, probably just to capitalize on renewed interest in the anime/manga series at the time.
So the original game was a 1986 release for the Master System that was stripped of the Hokuto license and brought to the West as "Black Belt." I'm not sure if it or the first NES game was the first Hokuto video game, but what I can tell you with certainty is that all these early games were real stink bombs.
This revamp makes the experience marginally better ... but it's still not far off the original game in overall enjoyability. In other words, it's a clumsy belt-scroller beat-em-up with a lot of signs that it was rushed. If you're new to all of this, basically the original was a bad Kung Fu Master knockoff. This one kinda is too, but adds 3D models and enemies that do a bit more than just rushing at you like boneheads. They're still very stupid though, they just have a few more moves.
It also overlays more of a story, but it's all in text scrolls inserted in between levels. I don't know enough about the series to know if it's different plotlines per level or all one continuous story, but you play as the same Kenshiro throughout. But there are six levels, and at times for a portion of them you play as either his fur cape buddy or Jesus-Oh.
But no matter who you're in the shoes of, it's pretty much the same story. You have a small arsenal of moves centered on light and heavy punches on the X and O buttons. But since you one-hit-kill everyone but the bosses with any regular move, there's functionally no difference except that the "strong punch" has a tiny bit more reach but is a little slower. You can do a slow floaty jumpkick, a sliding jump kick that goes across the screen, and you can build up your Big Dipper bar by beating enemies to do several special moves.
Then of course you got your ATATATATATATA. Which comes out any time you tap punch in rapid succession more than twice, and there seems to be no restriction on using it. It's actually kind of an annoying move as it's easy to do accidentally and freezes you up for a few seconds, the slide-across-the-screen kick is actually by far the most useful as it dispatches multiple enemies simultaneously, but it's a little unreliable as you sometimes just slide up to the enemies without kicking instead.
The finer points of combat don't really matter though, as the enemies are tards. The only thing that keeps them in the game is that a bunch get projectile weapons and may get you with them while you're tied up with melee mooks. That, and they can't be hit in the animation frames of certain attacks even when it looks like you should have had priority. Most enemies seem to move almost randomly, however, and will just jump right into your attacks or literally walk right into an ATATATA you already have going. The end-of-level boss fights present more of a challenge, you generally fight at least one resilient lieutenant before taking on a boss that fights much more capably and has similar special moves to yours, all on one life bar.
So all of this jags back and forth from being too easy and tedious because of the flood of same dopey enemies, to too annoying because of projectile spam or some boss that can just endlessly spam powerful special moves. With just six levels it's also over pretty quickly, leaving you with only a simplistic one-on-one fighting mode in which you can play as the bosses once unlocked (which actually may be the best feature of the game, but really isn't enough to redeem it).
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